Twentysomething: How my generation works
(Flickr/mugley)
There’s been a lot of press about my generation lately. A lot of it questions our values, work and goals. So, here is my admittedly unsolicited opinion of my generation and, more specifically, our work life.
You must understand that we are not starting out with a positive attitude. In our short careers, we already have been laid off or at least afraid that we would be laid off. We have seen our parents downsized and left high and dry by companies that they helped to build. We have been unable to get work after doing “the right things” that we were told would make us successful — school, internships, volunteer work, mentorship, etc. We have gone into high-demand fields like IT only to see those jobs outsourced overseas for pennies on the dollar. We have joined the military, served our country, come home broken and with no opportunity for honest work in the private sector.
The corporate leadership in this country has made it clear to us that no one in our generation is getting a gold watch. We don’t have any delusions about that. Hell, many of us can’t even get insurance or make a living wage now, and no one sees it getting any better. Why would we make a job anything close to a top priority in our lives, when we can have no realistic expectation of having a long-term career to begin with? No one I know in Gen Y (or Gen X for that matter), has any faith whatsoever that any employer will ever give a crap about them as human beings. We accept that we are numbers on a spreadsheet in the current corporate landscape, but we don’t have to like it. We check off your boxes, and we accomplish the goals you lay out. We play nice. But, if there is no benefit to going the extra mile, then why bother?
That said, we are largely financially conservative. Our debt is daunting. We try to save more, we try to live more sustainably. We do not trust Social Security or that our 401Ks will see us through retirement. We are waiting to buy, and avoiding rent by living with our parents. We rely on your help because you offer it. If you didn’t, we’d scrape by somehow. Many of us live at home to help our parents as they struggle with their own low wages and financial trauma. We have no idea how we will ever afford a family or a house or anything on our own when we cannot attain jobs with basic benefits and full-time wages.
We have a lot to be excited about, but less and less of that exists within the current corporate structure. We communicate constantly. We love to collaborate. We are data junkies. Many of us are imbued with entrepreneurial spirit. We strike out. We tinker. We play. None of this is particularly valued in the current corporate environment. But, we value it in ourselves and in each other. We have interesting side projects. (And, we keep them from you so that you won’t fire us.)
We also have a conscience, and we expect it to show up in the workplace. We were raised to be aware of the plights of others and to understand environmental issues. It is important to us to be involved in our communities. Our friendships run deep. Really deep. We view our core friend groups as family, and family is supremely important to us. We give our time and our energy to causes we believe in. We share. We expect our peers and the companies we work for to do the same.
So, we work, and we wait. We are working and waiting for our side projects to become our main projects. We are working and waiting for the right kinds of relationships to solidify in our personal and professional lives. We are working and waiting for you to retire so that there are funds and jobs available into which we can “grow up.” We are working and waiting for a chance to change the establishment to reflect our values. No, we don’t want what you have, just as you didn’t want what your parents had. We don’t want to spend our lives as perpetually burned-out slaves to a company that does not value us. We don’t want to be in bad marriages and isolate ourselves in McMansions. Neither did you when you were our age. Of course those things will happen to some of us, or perhaps most of us. But, right now, we’d rather hope they won’t.
Every generation goes through its turn in the news cycle. And, every generation thinks they’ll do it better. Time will tell. But, there’s one really great thing about coming of age in America in an era when things are generally thought to be pretty bad: It forces an early decision about what’s important in life. No matter how it appears while looking down from 25 years up the corporate ladder, we are decidedly chasing our own ideals, even when things seem hopeless. I’m proud of that. Maybe, if we’re lucky, this experience will pay off when we get the chance to examine our kids in the harsh light of our own age, experience and privilege.
Rebekah, I cannot fully explain to just how true everything in this post rings for me. Honestly, not blowing smoke up your ass.
Thank you for taking the time to really consider all of the stuff that’s recently been written about on our generation. And even more, thank you for taking the time to put enough thought into it to be able to write such a blog post.
Shared this as required reading to all my 20-something friends, and even those who are not. It’s comforting to hear our feelings laid out so clear and eloquently. Thanks for the post.
Rebekah…just how it hit home for Lori, it hit home for me, but I am one of those parents. I have been a single mom for 15 years, sole provider of my household where my income drastically dropped as a real estate broker. I am no longer doing that because I have found other avenues, namely Social Media Consulting to sustain myself. I am making less money, but I am happier with less.
My entrepreneurial spirit now is moving in different directions of doing more what I love.
I believe that with the tools technology offers, your generation will be able to tap into what you love more easily because it is so easy to see what other successful people are doing and then you can model it with your own flavor and individuality.
During these past 2 years, I constantly spoke to my son on how we can value ourselves with nothing. I kept strong and positive because I wanted to be an example to my son…..thinking in my mind…all these things that you mention but from a parents perspective…”How did I fail?” “What did I do wrong?”
Luckily…I stopped those thoughts and persevered to continually tell my son that these challenges are tests to make us stronger. Don’t get me wrong, I do have some mini meltdowns every now and then, but I snap out of it fast.
I do believe that children of baby boomers carry that strong entrepreneurial spirit., just like their parents. So if you are challenged much more than your parents, then what I believe is that you’re generation is born and wired to excel even more so than your parents. The tools are there…you all are able to communicate like no other generations before you. That is a gift! Thanks for sharing..it really touched me.
This message couldn’t have been put in better words. It’s all very sad, but in a way, enlightening. I feel like we’re a generation of survivors. We’re facing unfortunate circumstances, but since we’re smart, we’re finding ways to come out on top. I don’t know if it’s just our circle of friends, but I feel like I see entrepreneurs everywhere I look. We’re beating the odds and I hope it also results in more jobs and better circumstances for our kids. I know I’m a corny optimist, but I’m proud of how the majority of our generation is coping with these times.
I agree with Lori. I have seen so many articles on this subject but your post was so honest and spoke to the situation almost everyone I know is in. Well done.
Exactly.
Well observed and well stated. I would rather struggle while forging my own path and making my own career than to follow in the footsteps of someone else’s ideals. The job front is bleak. We are all tricked into thinking that as long as a company is offering some form of health care, we should be thankful for working thankless jobs. Sometimes I question why I even bothered to go to college. But there is a tipping point and, just like in nature, society will evolve. I am glad we are all in the same boat. Here’s hoping we change the face of “The American Dream”.
~Jena~
P.S. Keep writing and chasing your dreams. You’re inspiring a generation and that’s worth more than a 401k plan.
Y’all, thanks so much for the support and kind words. Many of you inspired me. I have amazing friends, really, and I am grateful for the opportunity to share this whole adventure with you. I believe in our talent and our work, and I think we’ll be just fine.
One of the finest pieces of prose I have read in awhile. Spot on. This is what the twentysomething American dream looks like.
Dear Bird,
What an eloquent, thoughtful person you are! I happen to believe that your creative, inspired generation is really the next “greatest generation”. You have had the vantage point of having grandparents of the “greatest generation” who faced many of the challenges of their time that are reminiscent of some of the struggles of your generation. You have also had the vantage point of watching the baby boomers, your parents, struggle with some serious social issues and their sense of unending opportunity and entitlement. Your generation will be the best of both time periods-socially conscious, financially adept, and focused on the importance of family and friends. I am so proud of you and your peers who may be able to finally point us all in the right direction. I am in awe of your creative and purposeful lives!
I Love You and I am so proud of you!
Mama
Rebekah,
Thank you so much for writing this piece. Everything you say is so true. We work hard and struggle, but I know we’ll be rewarded for our efforts. Thanks for taking the time to write this piece and for sharing it with the rest of us.
I ABSOLUTELY love this! From the Title to the Conclusion.
Life is a harsh reality that doesn’t allot you much time to daydream. It seems like we’re pretty much running all the time and have to ignore the fact that we’re often burnt out because we need the minor funding that employers give us.
But I agree, for some reason, we are beyond persistent and optimistic and quitting seems trivial, so we press on.
I love this post Rebekah, you gave a modern take on what the old generations call the “rat race”.
Beautifully said.
I’m a few weeks from my 60th birthday. All best wishes to you and yours.
Bekah,
What a great piece of writing! It is very thoughtful and incisive. Unfortunately, you are preaching to the choir just posting it on your blog. I hope it gets legs and comes to the attention of some who really need to hear it’s message. I love you and I’m so very proud of you.
Love,
Daddy
Was referred here from a Facebook friend. Good piece. At the risk of being a fogey, I will give you some advice as someone who thought and felt the same things — in 1990, after graduating from college and being laid off from my journalism job within a month of each other in a lousy, recession-ridden economy, right about the time my father had to take an early-retirement buyout from his large corporate employer of 20 years.
I understand everything you’re saying. If were to do it over again, though, I would be less bitter about things. Your 20s are way too soon to be bitter about life. Even saddled with college debt, you still have the time and freedom to chart your path. It might not be the path you expected, but it’s there. And don’t wait for the establishment to let you change it. That will never happen. That’s not a statement of bitterness — that’s reality. The corporate establishment is about plausible deniability — having an explanation for when things fail — rather than actual innovation.
Something that helped me at the time I learned from one of my post-layoff forays — improvisational comedy — which was the rule of “yes.” On stage, saying “yes” moves the scene, saying “no” shuts it down. At your age, now is the time to say “yes” to just about anything (unless it’s really skeevy). Like in improv, you might not know where saying “yes” will lead — but it usually leads to someplace good.
To quote Airplane’s Dr. Rumack (sorry, old fogey reference): Good luck, we’re all counting on you.
So well-written and well-put. I nodded in agreement at almost everything. I felt you were talking about me, too, then I remembered with a thud that I will be 40 next year!
Regardless, you do a kick-a** (not sure what your comment censor is like!) at taking a big, huge, wide and varied group/generation and putting into words some things that are plain-old universal for all of them.
Thank you!
~ Alli
Hi Rebekah,
This is my first time on here. I was linked here by a friend on Facebook. I don’t know you personally, but nonetheless your writing struck a chord with me (and everyone I know, it seems). Everything you describe here is so accurate – both the ups and the downs – I think sometimes I get stuck on the down. Your article reminded me why we are just as great as any generation that’s come before us, and we’re leaving a hell of a mark. Thank you.
Rebekah,
What an incredibly written piece. So many of these points ring true for me. So often in the media as of late, our generation has been nothing but dogged for being, lazy, self-serving, and all-in-all lackadaisical about life. Your eloquent dissection of these perceived mind-sets truly reveal the real issues plaguing many Gen-Y’ers.
Touche!
Emily
Hi Rebekah,
Thank you for writing and sharing this. I cam across it from a tweet by @kegill, and I’m so glad I did. Everything you’ve written is pretty damn spot-on with what I’ve been thinking, feeling, and experiencing as a 20-something with idealistic goals trying to make my own waves.
“Of course those things will happen to some of us, or perhaps most of us. But, right now, we’d rather hope they won’t.”
Every part of this post is brilliant and eloquently written, but these two sentences really show that, hey, we’re idealistic with still grounded in reality. (Damn.)
Thanks, Rebekah.
Gosh, I can’t fully express how much this resonates with me and, although sad, it gave me comfort in a strange way. It is easy to forget sometimes that you aren’t the only one fighting and struggling to make your life into what you want it to be. I’ve felt like this quite a bit lately, but your words make me feel empowered.
Thank you, Rebekah!
Bekah,
Your latest post struck a chord in our house. Having a little one in these fluid economic times is scary as all hell. I totally agree with your perspective. I am so proud that you are my big sister. I love how you so eloquently express the feelings of a generation. Additionally, i cant wait to see you take off and create some change in the current economic climate. I know that your job especially is catching the shaft as is mine, but you are correct in your view that we will make it some how. Mandy, Jed, and I are so proud of you and tia Andrea!!!! Looking forward to seeing you in october.
Love,
Matt
Bekah,
That is a great piece of journalism excellence. You really summed it up well for our household. We have the little man and we are struggling everyday. Not just with the cost of things but with the general dont care attitude that surrounds our work places. Great work keep it up. Mandy, Jed and I miss you and tia Andrea!!!! We cant wait to see ya’ll in October.
Matt
Seems to have a very American bias! What a load of heart-bleeding crap.
I randomly came across your article due to a link on a friend’s google Buzz. Three days ago I resigned from a major corporation that I had been bending over backwards to please during my last two years of college. For whom I missed spending more time with my family following my graduation due to their offer to have a “working vacation” for the summer. That working vacation turned into a total consumption of my time, due to my flexibility with my schedule because I felt I owed them that for offering me free rent to work in this gorgeous place for the summer. Little did I know that this summer would actually be the hardest summer I have ever worked. I’ve worked two jobs before in summer plenty of times, but all my “vacation” time ended up being spent working long hours, and at the end of the day trying to avoid my co-workers so as not to go stir crazy from hanging out with them all the time. Again and again I was direspected and challenged by malicious hearsay, gossip, and lies that destroyed friendships I had held dear at the beginning of the summer when I arrived with such hope and excitement. Again and again, I rose above the situation, learning to quietly stand my ground without saying a word, leaving no visible cracks for the wounds that were being attempted. All the while I thought I was working towards a promotion, which I desired due to the massive college loan debt I had aquired pursuing a degree I was passionate about. I had flourished in my department and held high hopes for recognition for those achievements plus my dedication of long hours to the company, especially while in school.
Come end of summer though, my ability to stand firm for what I believed in, though done quietly and respectively, without yelling or temper tantrums, made too many who had “seniority” over me uncomfortable. So when offered little choice, I chose to come back home. Regroup, restart, renew, reconnect. And I have been kicking myself in the ass ever since for not doing it sooner. Though I enjoy connection and collaboration, I cannot sacrifice the values instilled in me by my family. I see a movement happening, a movement of positivity. And I want to be part of it, not in the way of it.
Your father’s right, submit this as an editorial somewhere BIG. This needs to be in print.
A quick note to tell you that we really appreciated your text which really expresses what “old managers” like myself are “feeling” about the new generations. There is definitly a huge gap between our generations but the fact we know we are different and that we are abble to put words on those differences is already a step in the good direction
Thank you! Thank you so much for being so accurate. I’m not exactly 20, more in my 30′s but we share the same kind of challenges.
Wow, this is spot on. The “mainstream” thought seems to be that we are a spoiled generation of young people without respect for the establishment… but why respect the establishment when it doesn’t respect you merely as a human being?
They can say what they want, but most twentysomethings I know have already been through the ringer, and they are done trying to work within the old boundaries. I don’t have delusions of homeownership, retirement, or any of that stuff – because I don’t think it will ever be possible.
My one big takeaway so far after a couple of years of corporate work – there is a lot to be said for managing your expectations from a young age. Learning not to worry about doing things the old way has really set me free.
I agree with your sentiments, especially the “everyone has side projects.” I believe that 80% of the people under 30 constantly have side projects and are constantly bouncing them off anyone who will listen; that is anyone who isn’t in a position of power to chastise them for being blinky and blurry eyed for staying up late working on some side passion or another.
Smart enough to not vote for liberals yet? Once burned…
This is a pretty fair statement. A generation waiting in the wings, it feels like we are always going to be the bridesmaid but forever living on hope.
Sweet article, keep talking
Hey – I’m 46 and I feel very aligned with the culture and conundrums you describe here. Very well written – and accessible.
+1 – get this out wider. NYTimes, Huffpo, something like that.
What I find most daunting is the lack of option we have available. Religion has disappointed most of us, school did not prepare us for what we are facing and the 20-40 years of the 9-5 game has lost all the glamour it ever had. I imagine, perhaps naively, that in the past these things were an option for generation before us when they were our age. Your opinion peace reaffirms the hunch I have that it is up to us to pick take all that information we have available and to construct the lives we want. A sincere thank you for writing this up.
You wrote everything that I have been thinking and feeling and could not express myself. Thank you!
You just encapsulated the feelings and sentiments of everyone in our generation. I found myself saying AMEN! over and over again. Everyone needs to read this!
This attitude is exactly the problem with our generation. Everybody wants to get ahead, but nobody wants to put in the work to do so. All talk and no show, all show and no go. This generation was excessively coddled to the point of losing touch with reality. The fact of the matter is, nobody owes you anything, and nobody owed your parents anything either.
For all the talk of sustainability, there is nothing less sustainable than guaranteeing lifetime employment. On one hand, you ridicule people in our parent’s generation who overextended themselves, while expecting companies to do the same on the other. Over-staffing with shifting markets is the fast track to bankruptcy. Overhead walks on two legs.
My friend posted this on her Facebook wall and let me say, this hit home for me. Like someone in a previous comment said, it’s somewhat comforting to know I’m not the only one who isn’t living up to where they thought they’d be by now.
I’m 26. Add three zeros and that’s right around what I make a year. Nothing is secure for any of us right now. For the first time in a long time, our parents are doing worse in their old age. Whereas my parents used to be somewhat comfortable, due to surgeries and the economy, their house is now falling down around their ears and bankruptcy is on the horizon.
Luckily, I too find solace in my husband and our tightknit group of friends. I just hold on to my optimism and hope one of these kooky ideas I’ve got floating around in this brain of mine comes to fruition…
Rebekah,
Great Article. I think you would really enjoy Generation Me by Jean Twenge. It is a great read that brings in a lot of quantitative and qualitative research about generational differences to expose how the way we were brought up profoundly affects our outlook on the world. Great read, I highly recommend it.
http://www.amazon.com/Generation-Americans-Confident-Assertive-Entitled–/dp/0743276981/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1283963787&sr=1-1
Loved the article, but not sure I believe our generation is as idealistic as we appear. There were a couple points where I laughed out loud at the altruistic generalizations. God, I wish I was as you portray me.
Rad.
The workers and the waiters seem to come at all different times, too. Some have gotten it right away and hit the grindstone, but others are screwing around into their late twenties.
I have been pleased to see some of these “burnouts” suddenly flicker back into flame in recent months around me though and it’s fascinating, encouraging and beautiful. There IS some weird spirit about us, and when everyone thought we were just going to sit back and let the world give us a giant HJ…
Who knew? I certainly never saw myself being able to work as hard and bear as much as I have by my age, and yet here I stand.
Thank you for articulating that!
Ms. Monson:
Your article made me feel old and creaky and perhaps a wee bit cranky, so I apologize in advance for sounding like a curmudgeon.
I am soon to be 42. I have been married for almost 15 years. I have two children. I am pleased to say I have never slaved for a large corporation. I have been lucky to work for small family owned businesses (10 employees or less) since I have been in the workforce. The position I currently hold is at a company that hired me 16 years ago. I feel valued and I value those with whom and for whom I work. When you say that things aredifferent for your generation, I both agree and disagree.
The economic climate of the 1970′s was bleak. It was very similar to today’s job market with the very important difference that you mention – you are entrepreneurs – you tinker, you play. This is a fundamental shift in attitude from the stale graduate-work-for-company-store tradition your parents may have experienced and that your grandparents definitely experienced. You have a bit more leeway in defining your individual (or group) successes. There is also a tendency to jump more readily from place to place depending on the carrot being proffered. Thankfully, you can live at home while you get on your feet and help your parents without being labelled a loser because this is now practically the norm. It was frowned upon greatly as recently as 15 years ago – by both parents and peers.
In actuality, the divorce rate has been on something of a decline since 1980. The current rate is about 41% and a majority of those are with the 20-24 yr old age group. I’d chalk it up to marrying too young and too soon. As for McMansions, well, I don’t know why they ever appealed to anyone.
I’m not sure that every generation thinks they’ll do it better – I do think that they’ll do what is right for them, and hopefully for their communities and their children. And somehow, we’ll all get by and define our own success, happiness and satisfaction along the way.
I wish you fulfillment in both your career and your life.
I hear you. One thing I want to point out. You are right about the gold watch. However, one’s career spans states of employment at individual employers. In other words, the value in going the extra mile may not pay off with the current employer. But it may pay off in other ways, down the road. So, although I appreciate the overall point and tone of the piece, I think there is a fundamental flaw in some of the logic. There is often benefit in going the extra mile.
When characterizing our generation, it’s important to recognize that different personal stories reflect people in different stages of coping with the disillusionment, struggling for purpose, and finding a way to meaningfully contribute in a non-destructive way. There is a tremendous amount of stress living at home while trying to reject the pressures of parents who simply want you to do what they did, or live according to the career models they faced, or to be complicit in the economic contexts which are dying out, and deserve to.
And even if our parents had less than we had and worked very hard to get to “the current level,” they ought to be reminded that perhaps the change they participated in and profited from was not necessarily a positive one, and perhaps impossible to emulate in our own time.
Change seems to happen faster and faster. They probably didn’t know what would become of them when they were our age, it would be foolish to simply assume that their hindsight advice makes for good foresight.
I got here from Reddit and had to say (before this goes viral and you don’t have time to read all the comments): thank you. This is absolutely the most eloquent rebuttal I have seen to the negativity and bias pointed our generation.
I got here from Reddit and had to say (before this goes viral and you don’t have time to read all the comments): thank you. This is absolutely the most eloquent rebuttal I have seen to the negativity and bias pointed at our generation.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html?_r=3&pagewanted=1&ref=magazine&adxnnlx=1282599820-KiHp7NLnRZG6oiQCnDdZyg
Post this in response to the NYT article about what is wrong with 20-some-things.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html?_r=3&src=me&ref=homepage
This blog is the exact response I wanted to say after reading this very insulting article.
Never have I heard the plight of my people phrased so eloquently. I think I’m going to cry. Thank you kind stranger. No need to wish you luck in your future endeavors — I know you’re destined for greatness.
Hello Rebecca,
I too was referred to your post through a friend on facebook. Your writing style is very passionate and really flies off the page. This reminded greatly of a recent psychological survey undertaken that there is a new age group being formed in America. When previously after college, adolescents became adults, moving out into the world, this theory suggests that there is an age range in which after going out into the world (grad school, jobs, etc), people in their mid 20′s early 30′s are migrating back into their parents house, and are indeed creating a new group between adolescence and adulthood.
Currently I work for an executive training company in Seoul, and through my job as an assistant researcher I have to say all of these “side projects” you mention are incredibly valuable sources for corporations as these are the essence of innovation. As for entrepreneurial spirit, taking risks and learning is really important, as is knowing as much about what you are doing as is humanly possible. If you want a job somewhere it’s a poor approach to just go in and say “hey, I notice you have a job, please give it to me” compared to “The job you are offering and my passion are one in the same. Some of my side projects that show my aptitude in this field are (clubs, hobbies, experiments, yadda) I notice you are a privately held company. Where do you plan to go in the next 6 months? What is your business model? What previous experience do you bring as a leader?” shifting the focus from a very narrow scope to a larger one.
It’s easy to make corporations look like big daunting evil things, but companies are inherently neither good nor evil as they are inanimate objects. Business, as I’ve recently come to conclude, is simply the transfer of goods and services, materials and tasks, necessary for society to exist. Nothing more than that. From the way I’ve been reading and hearing news from America from friends and family, it seems like everyone is treating the economy as if it were “the Grinch.” I think right now our home country is in bad terms, however if we out grow the concept of “globalization” and come to terms with the now present “globality” we could once again be the heroes of the world. To end this response with a somewhat cheesy joke; Buddha walks up to a hotdog stand and says “make me one with everything” Buddha then says “Hey, where’s my change?” and the hotdog vendor says “Change comes from within.”^^
Keep up the great writing but more importantly, great thinking.